Title: Winter Wonderland
Description: Private, Malevolence only. Thank you.
Astra - December 4, 2004 09:34 PM (GMT)
Astra drifted through the very loud and always on the verge of violence customers of the Bloodseal Tavern. She had grown so accustomed to the sound of the rowdy and drunken men and women that the sounds fell deaf on her ears. Downcast lavender eyes were veiled by her long, free hanging black hair. As a lock came within Astra’s view she flinched ever so slightly, and wanted to cry out with despair. She had not realize how much she cherished her silver-white, rebellious, slightly curled locks until she did not possess them any longer. She had collected Devil’s Claw in the Norwood Forest, a root that when crushed and the juices washed into a person’s hair caused them to become very straight and the colour of a raven’s wing, because she knew that she would have to disguise herself once in entering Taras.
She was pulled back to reality when she heard a very slurred voice call out, “Honey, more ale here! That’ssss a good, pretty girl.” Trying her best not to grimace, she scurried over to the bar and filled a pint and on returning to the man that ordered the drink she overheard him making a unrepeatable comment about Lavender Eyes, the title she was known around the bar to her despair. She had recognized this particular man, who had to often tried to make a grab at her. His squinting blue eyes, multiple chins and smoothly chilling voice could be recognized anywhere.
Banging the glass down, she caught the edges of the man’s fingers. He roared in pain and started uttering curses at her. Lifting her head, one of the rare times she ever looked anyone in the face in the Tavern, she tilted her head to the side and smirking coldly while she curtsied, she responded coolly, “My pardons good sir. It was a complete accident. Happy Winter Solstice to you.”
Leaving the man still muttering under his breath, she knew that he probably wanted to cuff her, but it was one of the only rules in the Bloodseal that the barmaids were not to be touched, violently.
Astra took note that the other two barmaids had the serving quite under control, so she wandered to the very back of the tavern where the light from the roaring fire only touched the dark in wisps, causing an eerie shifting of the shadows around her.
Roughly she began to scrub one of the oak tabletops, the wispy black material of her skirts swaying around her legs like a bell. She wore the standard dress of the barmaids in the Bloodseal. A tight, leather corset top and black wispy skirts that flared out from the hips, all the barmaids had a sprig of green bough with red berries in the hair for the season. While scrubbing the table top her eyes drifted out of the window at the gently falling snow. A twinge of sadness filled her, Winter Solstice had been one of the only times she enjoyed being a part of The Court. She adored the decorating and the singing, and dressing up for the Winter Ball. It was the solitary Ball she enjoyed, for it seemed everyone pushed The Great Game to the back of their minds and enjoyed the winter season – she wasn’t fooled because The Game was still there, but just pushed away.
Sighing heavily she moved to the next empty table, scrubbing it until it shone, still allowing her eyes to gaze out at the falling snow. Thoughts of The Court lead to thoughts of the silence she had found since arriving at Taras. Her eyes and ears had gone dead silent and no one seemed to know anything of the Queen or The Court. It was disturbing, very disturbing that the channels of politics had gone seemingly still. She had been furious when she saw the refugees had still filled the freezing streets, and she did what she could to help them, but times were hard and she could barely support herself, the reason she had to take this position. She knew that she would have made much more money and a more respectable establishment, but she still could not risk be recognized.
As she checked the table, her eyes caught a glimpse of the violet stone that hung from her neck and a pain filled her chest. She had no idea why she felt so much remorse at finding Czarrov gone that morning, for she had only met him once and had no reason to feel so sorrowful about his disappearance, yet the feeling of loss was still there despite how hard she pushed it away. She had convinced herself the reason she had felt so was because he had saved he,r and despite his denial of repayments, she still felt obligated to him. Another reason she had rationalized was she still had his stone and wanted to return the necklace to his possession.
She had waited for him in the shelter of that Weeping Willow for quite a while, but she knew she had to move on, the need to reach Taras filled her. She was so frustrated when arriving that she was so powerless. Sighing heavily she moved on to the third table, her anger seemingly disappearing as she did not scrub the oak surface with quite as much emotion.
“This is definitely not the way I wished to spend Winter Solstice.” Astra thought quietly.
Malevolence - December 6, 2004 03:45 AM (GMT)
Flakes of snow danced throughout the air on their freefall to the ground, a few occasionally landing upon his shoulders and other regions of his torso. The markings that once laid across his cheeks when he first did his act to defend Astra now plagued them again, but this time in a deeper and darker crimson like color. Dark violet hues darted left and right, studying the structure in front of him, as muffled voices made their way to his ears. He needed to find shelter, but nothing presented itself as much shelter other than the structure before him. The simple matter of accommodating a person’s house would be out of the question unless he was willing to fight off guards, but with his current state, there was no willingness present in his ailing spirit.
Carefully he stepped forward, striding up the stairs and to the door of the structure, allowing his right hand to drift upwards and grasp the doorknob, before giving a quick twist and shoving it open into a full swing. Slowly he emerged from the cold and into the warm embrace of the tavern’s confines. Within moments after his entrance, the loud crash of the door coming in contact with the wall emitted throughout the tavern, which caused the door to rebound back to a closed state, or at least semi-closed. Slowly his eyes traced along the occupants within, hoping to find a familiar face, but nothing seemed to strike his memory as a familiar, but instead as strangers. Eyes seemed to focus upon him as he stood there, wondering why such a man had interest in creating such a racket. With a simple shake of the head they went back to their drinks and conversation.
A deep rueful sigh passed his parted lips, as he took a few steps back and to the left, allowing his shoulder blades to come in contact with the wall which stood firmly behind him. Folding his arms over his chest, a slight chill danced across the exposed skin as the chilled fabric of his sleeves came in contact with his skin. As his eyes drifted from person to person a woman seemed to catch his eye, although she bared no visible resemblance to anyone he knew, due to her black hair, but the stone that dangled from her neck sparked something inside of him. The stone bared the same resemblance to the one he gave Astra quite some time ago. Shaking his head, his eyes dropped to the ground no longer wanting to look at the woman or the stone around her neck. He held regret for walking away that morning, but he needed to clear his mind and take some time to be alone from the one who made his mind so cluttered with those emotions he detested. Upon his departure and somewhat delayed return, he found her gone and nowhere to be found. And then something sparked in his head, which had been the location she was going. For countless days he traveled throughout the city of Taras only to come into different encounters here and there, of course…..None of them were for the good. Soon he found himself here; only to find out she hadn’t been here either.
A growl of frustration emitted from the depths of his larynx as he pushed off from the wall, dropping his arms to his side as he had. Reluctantly he made his way forward and to the bar the hollow thuds of his boots as the heel came in contact with the floorboards beneath him seemed to be muffled out of existence by the noise filled tavern, much like the state of his mind. His mind was a vast abyss of emptiness and no emotion seemed to plague his countenance besides the same apathetic look that always seemed to remain plastered on his face. Upon reaching the bar his right hand lifted up to the top of the counter before planting itself firmly upon its shiny surface. Czarrov’s eyes narrowed as they focused themselves upon the man sitting in the stool to his left, “I suggest you move…Or you may be in need of a surgeon by the time I’m through with you.” At first the man didn’t move, but then eventually moved to the seat on his right. Czarrov slowly took a seat upon the stool, as his feet placed themselves upon the rungs of the stool. It hadn’t been ordinary for him to lose his temper, but it seemed to be that way since he last saw Astra, which was when his emotions took a great downfall. No longer had he cared for attachments and no longer did he care about life itself. All he cared about was bringing devastation upon those who challenged his authority, which was what he had been attempting to do since his departure from the forest. Long and hard he searched for Astra, never knowing why and now he found no more reason to find her. This had been the last place in the city he searched, but to no avail. Roughly the nails of his curled digits dug themselves deep into the woodwork of the bar-top, before initially dragging them in towards the palm of his hand and repeating the process. Shavings of wood curled outwardly from his fingernails as he continued carving them deeper and deeper into the wooden bar-top. It had been done almost sub consciously, seeing as his mind was focused upon Astra and how she just left him at least it’s how he viewed the situation.
Astra - December 7, 2004 02:17 AM (GMT)
Astra’s thoughts drifted into a comfortable oblivion and the noise of the tavern seemed to fade from her hearing as she mindlessly polished the oak tables at the back of the tavern. This was the state she preferred to posses, an empty vessel, she could not feel pain or frustration when she disembodied herself. Then a clamor reached her ears that she could not ignore, the shattering of glass as it fell to the wooden floor of the tavern, splintering into hundreds of pieces.
She looked toward the front end of the Bloodseal, to find one of the other barmaids looking at her pleadingly as three different people called for more ale. The second barmaid was no where in sight. This did not surprise Astra, that woman infuriated her, always hiding away when the really hard work needed doing.
After swiftly looking over the tavern she found the origin of the ruckus. She could see a man, who was most thoroughly drunk, waving his arms around and had obviously knocked the pint to the ground. Keeping her eyes fixed on the glass, she hurried over the spot where the calamity had occurred.
First she coaxed the man back into his seat, with the promise of another glass of ale, on the house of course. She was sure the innkeeper would not mind if she could stop the man from breaking anymore glassware, or furniture for that matter. After she saw him calm and seated she crouched down and started to collect the glass in her the cloth she was using to polish the table.
She had the last piece of glass in hand, a rather vicious looking piece with very sharp odd angles, and was about to place it in the cloth when the drunken individual suddenly leapt up from his seat knocking Astra from behind, yelling something about his ale taking too long to arrive.
Astra let out a soft moan of pain as the glass embedded itself into her palm, blood streaming out of the wound immediately. She turned around and let out a few choice words that caused the man to sit down immediately with a passive look on his face. It was probably not the words that made him settle, but rather her frozen lavender eyes, the seemed to take on this quality after leaving the Norwood Forest alone, and seemed to steadily become more frigid with each passing day.
She hurried behind the bar, not taking any notice of anyone her mind fully focused on her wound, and placed the collected glass beside her as she ladled some water and poured it over hand, slowly working out the wedge in glass. When it finally slid out of her flesh the blood seemed to flow ever more freely, Astra ladled some more water over the deep cut a few more times and then began to wonder what to bandage the injury with. The innkeeper would be furious if she used the tavern’s towels.
She then remembered the red bandanna she kept in her coin pouch, amongst the very few scattered pieces of copper in her possession. She reluctantly pulled the material from the pouch at her hip and began to wrap it around her palms as tightly as she could in attempts to stop the blood flow. She was almost thought the pain of seeing the red bandanna again was more vivid than the pain of her palm. As she fumbled clumsily with the cloth as she tried to tie it with her one hand she noticed fingers curling and retracting, curling and retracting as they grated along the oak top of the bar.
She glared, although her eyes were hidden behind the curtain of black hair as she leaned forward over a basin, at the pile of wood dust that was scattered around the man’s hands.
Without looking up or stopping from trying to get the red bandage set, her cold, crystal voice rang clearly, “If you are an artist who is capable of creating the most magnificent wood sculptures in Imythess, or just a rude man who insist on wrecking the furniture that I have spent more hours polishing than I care to recall, I do not care. You will stop that now.”
Astra’s lips tightened as she watched the destructive fingers, waiting for their motion to cease not even bothering to look at the owner of the fingers face. She was fed up with these drunks, and vile individuals. She wanted to be out in the snow, or at a comfortable, warm welcoming inn sitting in front of the fire drinking cider on Winter Solstice, not mothering these foul people. Only to be cursed at later by the innkeeper because she could not stop all of the destruction.
Malevolence - December 8, 2004 06:36 AM (GMT)
A twinge of anger accompanied his response to the woman’s request, “I’m not in the mood…If you want me to stop I dare you to make me. Or anyone for that matter….Unless you show me respect and ask me nicely…..I will continue until I turn your precious bar into dust….It really makes no difference to me, but I won’t sit here and be disrespected by your insolent attitude. Unfortunately for you I’m not a stupid drunk and I’m quite aware of what I’m doing, but if you really wanted me to stop….Perhaps you could have done---“ Slowly he rose from his stool, planting both of his boots firmly upon the ground before turning his body entirely to the woman. Without warning his right hand shot out for her neck, but not grasping it, drawing the fingers dangerously close to the exposed skin of her neck. Carefully he leaned in, drawing his forehead close to hers as his head tilted downwards. In a dry and crisp tone he spoke again, “Would you please knock that off and this will be the only warning I’m giving you. Because there won’t be a next warning, just do the math and you’ll figure out why there won’t be a next.” A smug smirk crossed his slender lips, drawing the right corner of his mouth upwards. Withdrawing his hand from her neck, he pushed back from the bar, taking a few paces back, “Now, would that be too hard to do? If a fight breaks out over it, it may be for the better. One less drunk in the world is a better thing for us all. No longer should we have to be forced to listen to such lies that these filthy pigs spew from their worthless and utterly pathetic mouths.” At that moment most of the tavern’s eyes were on him, watching him with a distasteful gleam.
Narrowing his eyes they focused upon the woman’s shielded face, “No less….It really doesn’t matter…..Nothing really matters. I’ve found out how much I have to look forward in life…..” Czarrov’s head turned to the right allowing his eyes to cast their gaze out the window, “What I have to look forward in life is deceit and lies. I made a promise to a woman that I would protect her, yet she leaves me stranded in the middle of a forest….Lets say the next few days didn’t go well and I wandered aimlessly not knowing the direction I was traveling and found an encounter I would rather not speak of and for the most part I’ve been traveling out in the cold for days on end only to find myself here and yet no signs of the woman that abandoned me at the forest….It was a pathetic attempt to make my life meaningful by following this woman….However it won’t happen again, I’m through with it…She left and that’s all there is, it shows how important I was to her….And her safety.” For a moment a look of rage swept across his countenance, but quickly warding it off, trying his best to suppress his feelings, “Life holds no meaning for me, so I’m willing to put it on the line…But this time for the soul purpose of ending it in honor instead of disgrace.”
Shifting his gaze back to the woman he noticed something; it had been the stone that lay around her neck. Reluctantly he took a few steps forward, drawing his right hand up to her neck again, slipping his fingers around the stone that resided around her neck. Curling his digits tightly around the violet stone, he allowed his eyelids to slide shut, welcoming the dark empower that the stone emitted from its core, “Yes…You could only be one person. No one should have this stone around their neck other than---“ Delaying his statement he leaned in once more, drawing his left cheek along side of her own and whispered softly into her ear, “Astra…You can’t fool me for long….It almost seems like you were trying to hide from me…..That….Or you just didn’t want to get caught by those creatures chasing you.” Withdrawing backwards only to regain a balanced stance before continuing, “It doesn’t matter though, you left me there and I won’t forgive you for that. When I returned and you were gone…It was like everything I thought I had was shattered….But this time I’m not picking up the pieces, no longer shall I be the one who has to endure emotional pains over a woman. I thought you were a friend, but I was obviously wrong and blind for even thinking that. You know that I have no idea where I’m going and I would only follow your lead, where could I possibly go without you leading me!?” Digits slipped across the lustrous sides of the violet prism, before drawing his hand sharply downwards, rotating his hand for the palm to make contact with the surface of the bar-top with a loud smack, “For days I wandered without shelter, food, or water and no company. And on my failed attempts to make dues I’ve only grew more aggravated with you…You for abandoning me, for throwing me aside so you can come here and---“ Again his sentence broke off before he leaned in again only to whisper into her ear once more, “Risk your life for foolish reasons. You know these people don’t care for you, yet you come here alone and put your life on the line for them. At least with me by your side your life wouldn’t be in such danger not as long as I could still breathe. You obviously didn’t understand that; otherwise, you never would have left that forest without me. But you did…And it can’t be changed. So know what? How about you give me that stone back and I’ll leave you alone for good? It’s obviously what you want….”
Rolling his hand over to bring the back of his hand in contact with the cool surface of the bar-top and to bring the reddened flesh of his palm into her view as if accepting the return of the stone, slightly his hand trembled and twitched almost spasmodically as it awaited her decision to give the stone back or not, “This isn’t the way I wanted to end things….I envisioned something differently, but this is the only thing I can think of…I’m sorry I left, I was trying to collect myself. Remember the night before? I had no idea who I was at the point and I still don’t. As I said, I’m a liability to you and it’s probably the best you left me there, but things can’t be helped. Especially me, but right now my only importance is the stone, so if you would?” It had been a tough decision to make, but it was the most necessary. With his current state he could no longer hold a single thought without being flooded by others. The corrupt state of his mind had been the cause of the stone’s absence. The stone was the only thing that subdued the good thoughts he experienced and instead fueled him with bad. After years of that kind of manipulation and when the day finally came, it proved to be bad. Almost like an uplifting took place, it all came crashing down upon him. Recollections of the past, both good and bad flooded his head, causing it to stir with an utter state of chaos. It had been the main and only reason his emotions had changed so rapidly. The stone pretty much erased the good memories and held them deep down within the confines of his being, locked away and never to be touched again. But once the stone left his neck, that door opened and he soon began to remember both good and bad things, which was far too much for his mind to handle. It had been the main reason why he wanted to leave, so he’d have some time to sort things out, alone and with no further agitation by anyone. It was pretty much of what he had with those days he was alone without Astra by his side; however, his thoughts were focused upon how useless his life was without something to stand for or to stand behind. It was then when he ran across an encounter that only jumbled his troubled mind, which led him to the state he was in.
A simple sigh passed his parted lips as he withdrew his hand from the bar-top and back to his side, no longer caring for the stone, “I’m confused Astra, this is all too much…I don’t know why I’m having so many flashbacks….Why I’ve been so blind….It’s all too much, I can’t take it…I don’t know how much I can take before I finally lose my sanity. I’m sorry I snapped at you, it’s just this is beginning to get to me. And well, you know the rest.” Carefully he took his seat back upon stool he was sitting on previously, taking a few moments to recall the events that unfolded since his arrival, “I apologize for the counter and the way I’ve treated you so far…I have a lot on my plate and its all a bit hard to digest.” Placing his elbows upon the bar-top’s edge, he laced his fingers together, bringing them against his upper lip as he sat in reverie.
Astra - December 14, 2004 08:02 PM (GMT)
She knew who the man was as soon as the first solitary word passed his lips. The emotions that chaotically churned within her, utter joy, sorrow, relief, pain, anger, despair and feelings she could not recognize, were all hidden beneath her frozen exterior. Tilting her head upwards, her raven hair fell away from her face, and she gazed at him with cloudy, emotionless lavender eyes. Czarrov, Czarrov in front of her, Czarrov speaking to her, Czarrov was angry.
Astra jerked slightly as his hand shot towards her neck, yet her reflex to retrieve the dagger that was strapped to her ankle was somehow suppressed. As his hand lingered near the base of her neck she did not draw a single breath, wary, he did not seem to be a man to behave this way towards a barmaid, his actions confirming she barely knew this man, the small exposure she had to him that night was not enough to judge his personality.
Involuntarily her thoughts began to float to that night under the Weeping Willow; she had awoke to find Czarrov’s sleeping, his head resting on her shoulder. She had felt, at peace. She had felt safe and unafraid of what the future may hold after Czarrov had sworn to stand at her side until she sent him away, which she knew deep in her soul she could never dismiss him. When she had stirred from slumber once more to find Czarrov gone, an emptiness hollowed her, but she waited, waited for what seemed an eternity. As the seconds slowly crawled by, that emptiness was filled with pain and shame, how could she have truly believed that a stranger would hold his promise, it was foolish. Looking back, she knew that all the emotions she had experienced were foolish, how could she feel so content with the friendship a stranger had offered, and it was silly to feel such pain when it was taken away the mere morning after, but yet the pain was there that morning and still vividly held her.
Her heart began to break as he continued to speak, the woman that left him stranded in the forest. Oh Light, he was speaking of her. Deceit and lies, she had never lied to him, she had been more honest with him than anyone in her entire life! She had waited for him, waited! Her mind screamed formlessly, “I waited!!! Why would I strand you there when you had given me something I’ve never had, friendship!? Oh Light, why has this happened, why does everything fall apart!?”
He did not seem to know who she was, speaking to her as if he was telling her of a woman she had never met, but as his hot breath brushed against her cheek, he revealed he did recognize her.
The pieces of her broken heart felt as if they were continually shattered until there were barely visible shards left, as his insinuations of what he truly believed kept leaving his mouth, washing over her with his horrible perspective of the kind of woman she was. As his hand grasped the stone hanging around her neck, she closed her eyes waiting for him to rip the gem away from her, as he was apparently ripping away his offer of friendship, but the pull never came and she opened her eyes slowly to find him sitting before her once again. He was apologizing softly for his rage, but did he truly believe everything he had said? “Oh light, please let it not be so…” Astra’s thoughts were pleading.
Astra could dimly hear the shouts at her for more ale, but for spilt moment she let her gaze sweep past Czarrov as she looked at the men shouting at her with frozen, severe, intense lavender eyes and the demands died away. Despite her emotions on the inside, she had somehow manage to keep her feelings locked away, but she was slowly losing control.
Swallowing and taking a deep breath, she did not know which of Czarrov’s misconceptions of what took place in the forest to address first. Clearing her throat she began to speak in a soft, struggling voice, “Oh Czarrov, I didn’t leave you stranded! I would never do that, oh please believe me.” Taking a deep breath, she tried to discipline her raging emotions.
She walked around the bar, and sat on the stool next to Czarrov with her body turned towards him, studying his face. The need burned in her soul to clear her name in this man’s mind, even if he still wanted to leave her here, she needed her name to be thought of not in such a disgusted way. She could not bear the knowledge of his hate. Leaning forward, one of her arms resting on the bar top, she whispered, “Czarrov, these people that you say I am foolishly risking my life for are all I have. I have no family, well that is not completely true but I do not consider them my blood relatives. I have no home and when I rose to find you gone that morning I felt as if I was without friends once more. I waited, oh Light Czarrov I waited for you!”
Astra swallowed again, her restrain almost completely gone. Her lavender eyes were brimmed with glistening unshed tears, but she rushed on after the small pause, afraid she would not be able to continue if she was silent for much longer, “When I left without you I felt as if I was thrust into Hell, again. I was attacked when I was almost here by an assassin filled with the only obsession to kill me because I slipped through his grasp once before, but I managed to deprive him of his need for my death once again, barely. All of my thoughts rest on you and how I would never…”
Her hand flicked to the side of her rib, where a long scar rested on her skin. She was losing it, she never wanted to tell him how her thoughts rested on never seeing him again, foolish thoughts, unrealistic thoughts.
She unknowingly reached out to place her hand gently on Czarrov’s forearm as she begged, “Czarrov, when I awoke to find you gone I thought it was you who left me! You must believe me, please believe me. I would never intentionally hurt you. Never!! I was filled with such pain to find you…” Trailing off once again, she was revealing more of her feelings that she had struggled to hide even from herself, “If you wish the stone back, and to leave I will not hold any ill feelings toward you, but you must believe I do not wish it, I would never send you away…”
Astra’s other hand clenched the stone around her neck, feeling as if as long as she held that, Czarrov would not go, would not leave her alone again, silly and selfish, but she was feeling very vulnerable.
Malevolence - December 17, 2004 07:48 PM (GMT)
Her words seemed to be pure and truthful, but perhaps it was his own feelings that made him think that. A look of sincerity crossed her countenance as she spoke and the hand placed upon his forearm only added to the words she spoke. Slowly his eyelids slid shut hoping to just disappear from sight; she had been telling the truth, that much he could tell and he felt like a jerk for thinking otherwise. But she left him without a word, what else would he be forced to believe? Its all he knew; when he was a kid he learned when you found yourself alone it meant that the person who was in your company wanted you out of their sight. Well, its what he picked up from his quarrels with his father. What his father did to him had been the only reason he viewed badly of himself. His Father would leave him all alone in the middle of nowhere after shattering his spirit, pride, and body. After returning home the only one that would show him compassion would be his mother. She was the only one that made his life meaningful beside Celina that was and now it was Astra that made his second life meaningful.
A compassionate look crossed his countenance as he spoke slowly, trying to regain his monotonous tone, “I don’t want the stone back, I want you at my side, I want to have my life mean something. And without you, sadly it adds to nothing…..” A rueful sigh again passed his parted lips, as he unlaced his fingers and dropping his hands flat upon the bar-top, before pushing himself to an erect stance, “From time to time, I often thought this second life would be filled with nothing but remorse….I’m not saying it hasn’t, but least it had been meaningful thus far…So long as you’re here….” Slowly and carefully he turned towards her, trying to remain rigid with his posture and expression, not wanting to let a single hint of emotion to leak from him. With a steady index finger; he placed it bellow her chin and tilted her head upwards, “I never left you……And I believe that you waited…I won’t question it, I trust that you did….I apologize for being a jerk…” Czarrov wasn’t in his right mind and it was apparent that he wasn’t. The way he treated her was nothing shy of brutish and the fact that his anger nearly reached its boiling point was just another reason he wasn’t all there when he said what he said and for that he felt like a jerk. Normally he had a stronger grasp on what his emotions did and how to bind them deep within his dark and long forgotten core.
Inside something clicked, bringing him to the realization of what she said. Slender brows dropped downward, as his eyes narrowed, focusing their eerie violet hues upon her lavender. It took a few moments for him to realize it, but a flashback of the night before everything turned the way it was, a black robed figure flashed inside of his head. A frown plastered itself upon his countenance, “Wait wait, back things up.” Hastily he took a step towards her, drawing a closed fist up in front of her face, “You mean someone actually dared to lay a hand on you!? Why that----“ His voice broke off as he took a moment to think before speaking once more, “It’s my fault I wasn’t at your side, I broke my promise….But you do know who this assassin was, do you not? If he’s attacked you once before, you should know who it is. And if you do tell me who it is, don’t worry about me doing something stupid, because what I do, DO will be FAR from stupid, it’ll be quite rational….And civilized….” A malicious grin crossed his slender lips, allowing his closed fist to lower to his side, “I’ll tell you what….I’ll never let you out of my sight again…It was a stupid mistake, but I’m glad I pursued….I knew you were coming here, only problem was I didn’t know where you would be.” The noise of the tavern continued to escalate again, but this time growing more annoying than before. Without warning his hand shot up into the air, before drawing itself downwards, uncoiling his fingers and extending them outward to expose the palm to the rugged surface of the bar-top, clearly being in the same area where he first started his abuse on it. With a loud bang, the noise seemed to carry and reign throughout the noise filled tavern overruling all the noise within it, “Would you all just shut up!? God…..” Shaking his head in disgust, his sharp violet hues drifted along the occupants before noticing the main cause of the noise, a rather brutish man that was standing out of his seat doing an scene from his exploits for the day with a visual aid it seemed, but he had frozen where he stood and turned his attention towards Czarrov. Czarrov cocked his head to the slight right, eyeing the man cautiously, awaiting the sound of the man’s annoying voice to reign again. Without further delay the tavern whirred to life again with mild noise this time. Slowly Czarrov’s eyes found their way back to Astra, gazing at her with a quirked brow, “That’s how you do it. Short, sweet, and to the point. To get what you want done, you need to be forceful, or you will bend under the pressure. And once you bend, there may be a time when I won’t be there to bend you back, and you may even break that time. Once broken, you become sharp and jagged and that’s something I don’t want. I don’t need you corrupted only because stress got to you. That’s why you have to be firm and strong and I believe you are. Without a shadow of a doubt, I believe you can stand your ground and keep order, its what I tried to tell you the night before we….Got separated. You can be a forceful leader, Astra. Everyone can…Including me…But my problems run deeper than rigidity. I’m not afraid to admit that. Its hard for me to cope with things after knowing I gave my life for nothing. I didn’t save anyone. I wasn’t the valiant hero I sought to be, just a crazed psycho who threw himself in the way of a woman to postpone an unforgettable death, which took a turn for the worse. It’s what separates you and I. You have these people…however pointless it seems. But it seems to be what you enjoy, watching out for these people. I on the other hand, HAD people and they died for my own actions. You, you can still protect your people, while I’m stuck with a past memory and the realization of what I could have done differently. That’s what separates us, but you won’t be alone in your cause to protect the people of this town.. I shall support you one-hundred percent, at least until I prove to be no more use to you.” Reluctantly the hand that struck the bar-top rose from its rugged surface and brought it upon Astra’s left cheek, “But if that person who attacked you thinks he’s going to get away with what he did, he’s got another thing coming.” For the first time in a long time a smile crossed his lips, causing them to curl upwards at the corners of his mouth.
Astra - January 5, 2005 04:37 AM (GMT)
Astra only became aware of her hand on Czarrov’s arm when he suddenly arose to his feet and her hand slid to her side. His voice seemed restrained, as if he was internally battling with his feelings. She had come to find that he was always very emotional or coldly apathetic. She blinked away her unshed tears, cursing herself for sniveling like a small child, even as a small child she had never cried. The only other time she could remember tears filling her eyes was when she had almost died and all hope left her, just before Czarrov had found her in the forest.
As she felt Czarrov’s finger underneath her chin she swallowed shallowly. His touch made her uncomfortable, why she could not explain, but the feeling was there. Mingling with the uneasy feelings of his touch, relief filled her mind, he believed her, he believed her thank the Light. His other words left her bewildered more than anything else though.
“How do I give meaning to his life? Me at his side…” Unanswered, troublesome questions floated through her mind, questions she was not brave enough to ask, or better put, not brave enough to discover the answers to.
After taking a deep but quite breath, words began to spill from her rose lips, words that brought back painful memories of her past, and painful thoughts of what the future inevitable held. “Believe me, if I was one to break I would have broken long ago. I often cannot conceive how I have held the pieces of my sanity together for so long, but then I realize I do it because I must, because it is all I have. All I have…”
She nearly choked when she remembered the day when she thought that it had ended. The last day, she believed, she would be a royal. She could feel once again the hundreds of eyes piercing her soul with hate and vengeance. She had been a royal, and had become wanted woman with a bounty so large the amount was nearly inconceivable. She knew she was not a criminal, but what was she? A rebel? An individual fighting for justice? All she felt like was a woman that was lost in more sense than one with no place in the world and was clinging to a cause because it was all she had ever known, all she had ever possessed. The door of the tavern swung open letting in a strong draft as well as some more rowdy drunken men, and Astra wrapped her arms around herself, but it was not because of the cold.
She desperately tried to push such depressing and painful thoughts aside and she changed the subject in an attempt to banish uncomfortable thoughts completely.
“Yes, I know the man who tried to assassinate me. Well know is too strong a word. He first told me his name was Ertai, then Skorne. He appeared as a black-winged demon and then an elf. He was, he was like a shape shifter. Different names, different forms but with always the same intention.” Running a slender hand through her silver-white hair anxiously she tried to composed herself. She never could seem to attain the frigid state she had adorned so often as a Lady of The Court. If it wasn’t assassins, or the thought of assassins, or the worrying of the state of the politics of Taras, or the people starving and cold in the streets, it was Czarrov prodding her off of her pedestal of serenity. Light she felt a wreck.
Placing her hand on the counter top she continued, “I first met him in the Taras Library. I was forced to play the role of a dull-witted Lady to protect myself, for I had no knowledge of self defense at that time. Even though I was not sure of his intent I knew instinctively he was trouble. He attacked and I was lucky that a man named Sargoth was nearby, he save my life. I met the assassin again on the islands just north of here. He seems to be utterly consumed and obsessed with taking my last breath.”
In a wave of emotion a few troublesome thoughts dawned on Astra, what if Czarrov decided to hunt the assassin, leaving her alone again, and what was this nonsense of her throwing him away when she was done with him? Unknowingly she reached out to grab his wrist as she spoke, her voice a strange mix of anger, concern and many other feelings, “What kind of woman do you believe me to be? I am hurt you think I would simply dismiss you when I no longer found you useful. Is that truly what you think of me?”
Her job was completely forgotten now, she did not even notice the other two barmaids running around serving the demanding patrons, occasionally glaring at her venomously and giving Czarrov openly approving glances.
Malevolence - January 6, 2005 06:43 AM (GMT)
The scent of blood lingered in the air, as the open wounds of his right hand allowed more of its crimson fluid to flow fluently from the orifices and abrasions of the skin. Taints of dry blood plagued his slightly pale fingertips, due to a couple of wounds that were from the previous day. How vivid it came back to him about the day before he came here. It was the day that his emotions got the better of him; however, it had not been a very uncommon thing in the past few days. It was the day that changed him inside, a vision of the past, a vision of his father stood before him, standing tall and firm looking down upon Czarr with the same look of disgust that he had when Czarr was just a mere child. For those moments he could have swore that his father was really standing there, speaking to him, telling him that he was a disappointment and that he needed to get his act together for the sake of the family’s honor. Czarr, blinded by hate took a swing at the tree, clipping it where his father’s head should have been only to have the rigid surface of the bark tear and rip into his skin like it was nothing at all, leaving the wound open wide to the cool breeze that brought a stinging sensation to it. Czarr continued his assault upon the tree until the image of his father dispersed only to leave him all alone again. It was then he knew he couldn’t last like this and needed her help more than ever.
Czarrov’s attention slipped from Astra’s eyes and slightly downward to his right hand that was placed upon her cheek, watching intently as a droplet of crimson rolled along his knuckles and then finally reaching the edge of his hand before dropping off and onto her neck, “Astra, I can’t justify the things I say or the things I do….I don’t even know myself anymore. This--this isn’t me…..I don’t know what’s wrong with me…..I can’t forget, I can’t put things behind me. This is why you’re the only thing that brings meaning to my life, you make me forget all the bad things that I’ve suffered and remember the good. I—“ His voice trailed off only to be drowned out by the roar of the tavern. Glancing to his wrist he eyed the hand that wrapped around it, “Astra….” A rueful sigh passed his parted lips, before closing his eyes, “I have no idea what kind of woman you are, I can’t tell, you play too many faces. So, in return I will ask you the same question, what kind of woman are you?” Slowly his eyes drifted open, locking their gaze upon hers. His hand trembled as it rested upon her cheek, his breathing becoming more rapid and heavier, “I don’t expect you to dismiss me. I’m giving you that option just in case you didn’t want me hanging around anymore. And no, that’s not what I think of you. No where near it. I think you’re—“ Again his voice trailed off knowing that he couldn’t possibly finish that sentence even if he wanted to. Again the same emotionless look plagued his countenance as he reeled back, withdrawing his blood-ridden hand from her cheek noticing the marks it left, “Never mind, it’s not important. What is important is that you’re safe, that the low life didn’t dare hurt you. Unless….I’m mistaking? I certainly hope I’m not.”
Lifting his left hand to her face, he placed it, palm flat against her skin trying to avoid smearing any more blood on her. Leaning in he brought his nose merely inches from hers, staring her straight in the eye, “I’ll try not too fret too much about the assassin, but should I happen to see him even attempt to touch you…I can’t guarantee anything. Now….” Slowly he withdrawn back, straightening out once more. His features were clearly visible, the deep crimson jagged marks that etched themselves into his skin and the violet piercing eyes, which remained locked upon hers, he began to speak in a soft tone, “Tell me something. Do I scare you? I’m sure I must look and act like a raving lunatic, but I’ve actually forgotten how to act and what to think. This…This ordeal has taken its toll on me. I’ve been dealing with this since my death. I feel responsible for what happened back then, because…It was my fault. I understand that I’ve been granted with another life for a reason, but something inside of me won’t let me forget. I wish and only wish you’d understand why I need you at my side. Maybe you do…But I doubt it. Oh well, I don’t expect you to understand…I don’t expect anyone’s help. It’s nothing new to me, but I do want one thing from you if you can’t at least help me. I need to finish some loose ends and I’ll be at the docks near nightfall. I want you to meet me there.”