After leaving the library in Taras, Cordelia had found herself a bit fueled by the anger at the man behind the counter. Maybe it was silly to have not let go of it by now, since it was extremely doubtful she would ever even see him again, but she couldn’t help herself! There was just the tinniest little part of her that wished Kaiden hadn’t been standing next to her then so she could have spoken her mind as fully as she wanted to, but that part was so miniscule that Cordelia had hardly even recognized its existence. The only good side to being reenergized in such a way was that it had probably been the reason they had arrived in Balefire quicker than she had anticipated they would.

The darkness of the large city was certainly overwhelming, but by now Cordelia had become completely used to it. She lived her whole life in darkness; a city covered by it was not only natural to her, but as safe as it would probably ever get. Sunlight couldn’t penetrate through the shadows that shrouded the whole area, making it an ideal place for her, though it wasn’t really the perfect place for people who were afraid of the dark. Kaiden had already told her that Balefire was a good enough place to go to, so she was glad she didn’t have to worry about him getting scared or anything. Besides, there were lanterns everywhere in this place, so it really wasn’t that bad.

Cordelia readjusted the three books she was holding against her hip, sighing inwardly. To be honest she was getting a bit tired of holding them; they weren’t too heavy, but they were becoming a slight inconvenience by now. She couldn’t wait to get home and just put them down. She didn’t think it would be a great idea to look at them tonight, considering that even though he had fallen asleep while she was carrying him, Kaiden still needed to get a full night’s rest. He was just a kid, after all; it wasn’t healthy for little kids to miss out on sleep or to mess up their sleeping schedules, and after getting beaten up earlier in the evening she was surprised the first thing on his mind wasn’t resting. Still, whatever he ended up doing she figured she had no control over, even if she was his caretaker and parental figure now. She was completely capable of force, but she didn’t want to use it on him, and besides, she wanted and needed to learn some sign language anyway, so she supposed they could end up staying up for a little while.

Soon enough her pace slowed and she led Kaiden down the small pathway that led to her house. It wasn’t exactly the most welcoming looking place, but Cordelia was used to it and thought absolutely nothing of it. She let go of his hand for now to open the door and walked inside, holding the door open for him with her foot. Once he would step inside she closed the door, locking it as soon as she did so. She’d never bothered to lock the door before, mostly because she didn’t really own anything valuable and figured she could always replace something if it got stolen; but now that she had Kaiden, she had to take every precaution. He was the most precious thing in this house right now and she couldn’t risk losing him.

Cordelia walked into the living room, setting the three books down on a small wooden table before turning to Kaiden with a bit of an awkward smile. She didn’t exactly have visitors ever, so she wasn’t entirely sure what she was supposed to say. “Um… so yeah…” she said, moving a piece of her hair out of her face and behind her ear, choosing to just be honest with him like she had said she would be. “I don’t exactly know what to say, but I guess this is your house now too so you can go ahead and make yourself comfortable.” Did that sound weird? Bah. Cordelia didn’t really care. She bit her lip and looked around the room, doubting the boy would find anything of interest here. There was a small bookcase, although it was almost completely empty, a rug on the floor, two chairs and then the aforementioned table. To be honest, Cordelia didn’t even think she had to give a grand tour, because beside just the living room there was her bedroom, another bedroom which would soon be Kaiden’s, and a bathroom, even though she never had any sort of use for it. It wasn’t a huge place, mostly because she didn’t need it – up until now she had lived alone, didn’t have too many belongings, and didn’t have any need for a kitchen or dining room, so there was no need for an extravagant home. “Sooooo…” she started after a period of time, dragging the word out for as long as she could, “do you want to go through the books…?” Her gaze would fall from Kaiden and back to the three books that she had spread out over the table top, a part of her hoping he would say yes so and another part hoping the response would be no.

All the while Cordelia led them in the direction of her home, the soft focus of his gaze would drift aimlessly across the surroundings, absorbing all and everything around them to take mental notes upon where they were and the likes. Finally they reached her place, where he would proceed to move in through its threshold, eyes dancing sporadically across everything and anything that littered the darkly lit home. It seemed rather small, quaint in a sense and solely meant for mainly one person. At least that was the first interpretation he got from just the appearance of the room in which they stood, he still didn’t see the rest so there wasn’t total certainty that what he thought was correct in his mind.

Silence filtered through the room, leaving him semi-shocked by the woman’s lack of words. All throughout the course of the night, the woman had things to say, words to let loose, and thoughts to voice, but now…Now she was silent and for some reason it made him uncomfortable. After a matter of moments the soft tone of her voice picked up to his ears, causing him to smile in response to them. A home…? No one really offered him such a thing in his life, other than Calvin, but that wasn’t really important to even offer a mention to. Instead his eyes drifted up to Cordelia, narrowing briefly as if to measure up the woman’s uncomfortableness. Again she spoke, this time a bit delayed as if to buy time, which brought his gaze uneasily over to the books spread across the small table. Moving over to one of the chairs around the table, a seat would be taken, hands dancing up and across the table to the book of Sign Language and then to his own. Flipping it open, the pen would take up in hand to scribble out, “You already know a bit of what I can teach you. Most of the signs are commonly used gestures. Feel good about that, most people can’t even understand that much, it’s almost sad.” A small frowning face with a tear would be drawn in continuation of the words.

Pushing his book aside for her to read, he would proceed to open the book of signing, starting with easy signs like, “Mother, Father, Grandmother, GrandFather, Boy, Girl, Friends, Son, and Daughter.” To get her familiar with the signs, he would open to the page with the sign, point to the word and then to the diagram. Successions of images proceeded and conveyed the movements of the hands to the finishing appearance of the sign, showing it all in each and every stage of it. From there, Kaiden would turn to her, moving his hands visually in mock performance of the diagram, only to repeat it three to four times, before motioning a hand out to her to try them. While she did so, a smile traced across his lips admiring the progress and attempt the woman was making. After a while of signing to her, both hands would lower to his lap, eyes drifting towards the doorway momentarily.

It was in that moment where a couple of thoughts would jumble about his head. Deciding to ask the woman herself, both of his hands would lift and move to his book to begin writing, “Why are you nice to me? I don’t understand…I’m not like others; I’m more of a burden than anything. If I could talk I would be like the others, I could be like everyone. What would you want with me…I’m broken.” The pen placed itself down upon the page, his face darkened when his chin lowered itself to his chest, not wanting to make eye contact with the woman. Nothing like this was an issue earlier in the night, there were no such thoughts present in his mind, but now that he got what he really wished. Questions implanted themselves within his head, wanting to know why someone would take someone like him over something that wasn’t broken to begin with.

Cordelia had caught that smile. Even if it had been a bit brief and she had still been talking, she had seen it, and she almost smiled herself upon seeing it. She was doing a good thing here, wasn’t she? He needed and deserved a good home, regardless of anything he might have heard or been taught. After living with that scum of a man Calvin for so long she didn’t exactly blame him. Kaiden made his way over to the table and picked up the Sign Language book; she had expected him to do that. As of right now, it was the most important, because the sooner she had the basics down he wouldn’t need that book anymore.

“…Feel good about that, most people can’t even understand that much, it’s almost sad.”

She snorted when she read that part of his statement. It wasn’t almost sad – it was much more than that. It was completely, absolutely pathetic and unnecessary. There was plenty of stuff she didn’t know, but not knowing what common gestures meant… well she didn’t even have a word for it, it was just that bad. “Well don’t worry sweetie, I’m not that stupid. I’m a fast learner, too.” The woman offered him a reassuring smile. Even if she wasn’t the brightest in the bunch, she still had a bit of common sense, and even if she didn’t know anything at all she would have pushed herself to her limits to learn everything she could for Kaiden. Such dedication usually resulted in what she wanted; it had a few times in the past, so now would be no different.

Kaiden had opened the Sign Language book and Cordelia glanced at it. All of the signs he had just showed her were extremely simplistic and probably wouldn’t be hard to do. She may not remember them without a lot of practice, but at least they weren’t too complicated. She didn’t bother looking at the diagram, since the diagram wouldn’t be the thing to tell her if she was doing it right. Instead, she watched as Kaiden demonstrated for her and once he was done, she went on to do exactly what he had done. It would take a little bit of practice, probably, but that wasn’t such a big deal. She thought she was doing fairly well for someone who hadn’t even been introduced to Sign Language until earlier this evening. She had never thought of learning it, since she had never had a reason, but right now she had all the reason in the world and wasn’t going to go back on this.

After a few moments, the boy took his book again and began writing. Like always, Cordelia simply waited patiently for him to finish. However, this time when she saw the book, she was completely caught off guard by what had been written. This was the second time tonight that he was having a mood swing, which hurt a little bit. At least earlier it had made sense, but this just completely confused her. He was hardly broken… who had made him think that? Not being able to talk meant absolutely nothing. He seemed so insecure and it truly bothered her. Kids shouldn’t have to worry about thinking there was something wrong with them. The woman shook her head. No child of hers was going to suffer from issues with self confidence. Her eyes lifted from the page and looked at him, not shocked to see him not looking at her. She walked over to the chair he was sitting in and got down on her knees before him, taking both of his hands in her left one and lifting his chin with the other.

“Honey, look at me…” she said in a gentle tone filled with patience. He might not understand everything that she was going to say, but that was fine. There was a part of her that didn’t really expect him to. She wasn’t too great with giving talks to boost other people, but this was Kaiden; she wasn’t even going to hesitate to help him. “You’re not broken. Do you feel? Do you bleed when you’re cut? Don’t you want to be loved and have a home and have fun just like any other kid?” Without waiting for any kind of answer, she simply continued. “You can’t talk; that doesn’t matter. Just because you have a flaw doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you or that you’re, as you think, ‘broken’. I mean, if you want flaws, look at me – my skin is so sensitive that I can’t even go out into the sun without beginning to burn almost immediately. Don’t you ever think you’re broken just because you aren’t like everyone else. Being the same as everyone around you only makes you lose your identity and less of a person. If anything, you’re flaws make you even better. Think about it… if you couldn’t talk, who would you be right now? Would you still be the sweet little boy that I know and adore?” She couldn’t suggest anything, considering she didn’t know everything there was to know about his life. “Besides, if it wasn’t for your inability, you wouldn’t be teaching me sign language and we wouldn’t have that sweet little bond because of it, now would we?” She offered him a small smile, hoping she had been at least a little bit persuasive with her argument. She didn’t think she had done too great of a job, but she was stubborn. She would make him think otherwise sooner or later!

“Honey, look at me…”

Stern unwavering eyes pierced their way into hers when she lifted his chin. All the while she spoke; there was a twinge of anger deep within him, welling and expanding with each and every word. She had no idea and it truly angered him, if he wasn’t broken why was he abandoned, ridiculed, and even mis-treated? Why was he picked last in everything, ignored, and even disbarred from any group he’d been apart of? If everything she was saying was so true, then why did he have no where to go and no where to stay…?

Finally he had heard enough and stood up in a rush of strength, parting his hands immediately from hers. They then would lift in anger towards his neck, where they would coil around the thick fabric that added protection from any glancing eyes. In one smooth and swift motion, the child would pull it completely from his shoulders and neck, exposing the gruesome sight to her eyes. Swinging the arm off to the side, it would drop the cloak a good distance off to his flank, before bringing it back to point at his throat.

Several sections of his spinal column could be seen with grave ease as they strained against the taught flesh bound across it. Each separation, each bump completely noticeable, except the frontal section where muscle stacked itself to enable him a certain ease to continue carrying his head. But as he twisted his head to the right, each of the column pieces would begin to shift irregularly only to add to the sudden grossness of it. The appearance of it started from his shoulders up until his head. Other than mere bone and muscle, there were no other defining characteristics of the neck. No voice box, no esophagus, just simply nothing of interest.

Once the display was done, the hand would drift in front of his chest where the other would lift and await. In rapid succession, countless signs took upon his digits in a blur of flurry, a look of anger prominent upon his features, “You say I’m not broken, I’m broken, broken, broken. No one wants me, no one ever did, I’m not normal, I scare people, I can’t live a normal life, what do you expect from me? Nothing is normal about me…I couldn’t ever be like anyone else.” With the last words that left his digits, a sudden qualm took upon his face, but what was said was said. He didn’t expect her to know, he never did…This was far beyond anything he ever expected from this woman and perhaps now their time together would be exhausted.

It seemed a good time together that they spent; however, hopeful and dissolute it may have been. At least he would know now instead of living on a lie that he could possibly co-exist with another being. Though, that all depended on how she would react to his sudden outburst, but he didn’t bother to wait for it. Instead he simply moved to his cloak, stooping down to pick up in hand and wrap it around his neck in one simple smooth movement. There was no chance that she would know what he signed unless she looked through the book on her own, but there was one word that was quite easy to pick up and that would be “broken.” Regardless of that fact, there was no point in waiting for her to kick him out, so he would instead move over to the door, only to pause in order to sign, “I will go now,” and move a hand out to the doorknob.

Cordelia had expected that look. He was a child; he wasn’t going to understand her. However, she hadn’t expected him to stand up so angrily and tear his hands away from her own. He had started off being so respectful and grateful earlier that evening… what in the world had happened? Were children supposed to have mood swings? Why couldn’t he just accept what she said and let it be? Within a few thoughts, Kaiden wasn’t the only one in the room who was annoyed. Cordelia was doing her best to stay patient and counted to ten inwardly, taking deep breaths and exhaling slowly and quietly. After all she had done he wouldn’t even listen to her! He wasn’t a teenager; he shouldn’t be acting like one!

Before she could even get a word out Kaiden had grabbed onto his cloak and was pulling it from his neck. He was probably going to have a temper tantrum and start throwing things now. At least she didn’t have anything she would miss if it was broken. But… when she saw his neck – or rather, lack there of – any sense of emotion was stripped from her. Her eyes went wide and her eyebrows shot up, her lips pursing together as well. In her life, Cordelia had witnessed a lot of horrible things, some of which had been committed by her. She wasn’t afraid to get her hands dirty and she wasn’t afraid to get messy, either. This, by far, had to be the worse thing she had ever seen in all of her twenty seven years. Cordelia didn’t even make a single move; this was so bad that all she could do was stare at his neck, her eyebrows beginning to twitch as she continued to behold the horror of abuse before her.

There was nothing there. Absolutely nothing. Anything that was supposed to be there just wasn’t – there was no windpipe, no where for food to go, no voice box… and the bones of his spine. Oh, dear, Cordelia was beginning to feel nauseous. She could feel her temperature rising and little beads of sweat forming at her hairline, but she still found herself unable to avert her gaze. Finally she was at least able to swallow, but her mouth had gone so dry that nothing even went down and she almost started choking.

Kaiden then began to sign. Cordelia wanted to tell him to stop so she could figure out what he was saying, but there wouldn’t be a point. Telling him to calm down before he was done being angry might only further anger him and her voice wasn’t going to work anyway. At last she looked away and snatched the signing book, thumbing frantically through the pages to try and find what he had said. Her left leg started bouncing up and down and she sucked on her lower lip until she found at least one word, and probably the only one she needed to know to know what he had said – ‘broken’. As much as he said that, Cordelia still wasn’t convinced. She opened her mouth to respond, but all that came out was a squeak. Since when did she become speechless to this point?! This wasn’t right! She was probably only making him think he was right when he wasn’t!

Cordelia forced her eyelids close. Was it really such a huge deal? Well, obviously it was, his whole throat was missing… but was that any reason for her to be so upset? She accepted him for who she was; that’s what being a mother was all about. Guide, accept, love, and convince the child otherwise when they’re wrong… and that’s what she needed to do right now. She needed to make sure he knew and comprehended just how wrong he was. His throat was missing, he couldn’t talk, or eat, or anything else; but she still cared for him. Kaiden was still Kaiden, with a throat or without. There was no reason for her to treat him any differently.

Once she heard his feet moving against the floor, the book snapped shut in her hands and her head lifted, her eyes fixating on his face this time instead of his neck. The second he placed his hand on the doorknob, the woman was up out of her seat and had her hand against the door to keep it closed, looking down at him with a much calmer expression on her face. “Kaiden…” she started, sighing, not even knowing where to begin. She made sure to keep her tone very sweet and motherly, though, just in case one last trace of annoyance came through. “Don’t do this. Don’t do this to yourself. Who the hell cares? I still don’t think you’re broken. I don’t care if you don’t have a throat, don’t have an arm, a leg, an eye, anything… that’s not going to change anything with me. And if you so firmly believe that you are, then you know what we’ll do? We’ll fix it. If you want to fix it, I will personally take you to one of the gods and they will fix it. I don’t care if they know how to or not – they will fix you because you are my son and if I tell them to do something, they’ll do it.” A look of all seriousness came to her face. If it was one thing Cordelia could be counted on for, it would be to keep her promises. She lied sometimes, but when it came to promises, she just didn’t go back on them.

She leaned down a little bit, still keeping her arm on the door in case he still wanted to leave. As long as she stayed like that she didn’t have to worry; she was much stronger than him. And, even if he did manage to get out of there, Cordelia was faster than him anyway and would soon catch up. “I don’t care who else left you. Don’t group me with them, Kaiden, because I’ve promised you that I’m going to take care of you and I intend on doing just that. I know you may not want to trust me… but you’ll never know if you can until you at least try. I’m not going to leave no matter what you say or do; like it or not, you’re stuck with me, sweetie.” Using her free hand, she tapped the tip of his nose with her index finger, smiling somewhat before putting that hand on her hip. “So what do you say, hmmm? Do you want to trust me and believe me when I promise you only the best, or do you still want to be a stubborn little thing and refuse?” She offered another teasing smile, hoping with all of her heart that he would just listen this time.

Kaiden’s hand froze dead still in its movement to the door knob, only to then drop to his side. With curious eyes, they would lift and study the facial features of the woman in front of him, trying to read whether she was telling truth or lie. Unable to help but to respond to her words, the small boys hands would lift in a flurry of movement, “I care…” The hands would then drop off to his sides once more, while she spoke a look of confusion swept across his face briefly. Her son…? The word seemed foreign to him, one that held no logical definition in the boys head other than it just being another word.

All the while she continued to talk, a faint smile tugged at the corner of his lips, especially when she paused to poke his nose lightly. Maybe she was right about giving her a chance, but what if it proved to be another repeat of the past? The thought wasn’t pleasant, but it was something he needed to take into consideration, but for now he would simply push it aside. Turning his attention to her question, both of his hands would lift in response, “And if I refuse?” It wasn’t really a serious question, but more so one that would hopefully get a rise out of her. For some reason he enjoyed it when she was like this, but that was only for him to know.

Pondering his next course of action, the child’s face would twist and contort in thought, before softening. Finally deciding; Kaiden stepped forward to throw his arms around her waist and hug her tightly, only to then rest the side of his head against her midriff. After a couple of moments the small child would pull away only to sign briefly, “I don’t want to leave and I don’t want you to either.” Wrapping his arms around her waist again, his head would nuzzle in against her. It was one of the times he felt truly accepted and if he could keep it that way then he would. Hopefully it wouldn’t be something he would soon come to regret later on.

He let go of the doorknob. With that one simple action, a lot of the weight from suspicion and worry had been lifted from Cordelia’s shoulders. At leas she knew that he was listening! He was making this difficult for her with the sign language, though. Cordelia trusted him enough not to go running out, so she let go of the door and grabbed the book once more, thumbing through it until she found what he had said. “I know you care, sweetie,” she said. “So then I promise, we’ll have someone fix it.” She nodded her head once to confirm what she said before smiling. Whatever he wanted, he would receive. If a god couldn’t do it, then she would find something or someone even more powerful; anything that could be done could be reversed.

She had caught that smile, which only made her own smile widen even more. She loved his little smiles, even though she wished it would have been a bigger one. Well, she would fix that. Before he knew it he would be smiling so much and so widely that his face would get stuck like that. He lifted his hands again and Cordelia opened the book once more, snorting and resting the book and her free hand on her hips when she figured out what he had said. “Well it’s not like you have a choice in the matter anyway. Even if you refused you’d be stuck with me and everything I say whether you like it or not.” She ruffled his hair and grinned again, sticking her tongue out afterwards. She knew he was probably teasing, and while her tone was lighthearted, she most certainly was not joking. Kaiden was stuck with her, whether he chose to believe her or not, and she would make him see things her way eventually.

Kaiden went on to wrap his arms around her and Cordelia’s features softened. He was such a sweetheart… she didn’t understand how anyone ever could have hurt him. She didn’t know every single detail about his past, but she knew enough to know that there was a lot of pain. She would fix that; she would fix all of that. He was her top priority, and she would make sure that whatever he wanted, he got, and if there was anything that wasn’t quite right, it would be fixed. The first thing that needed fixing would be his neck, since that seemed to causing him the most pain and the most lack of confidence. Whatever else arose after that would be dealt with accordingly as well. The only thing that worried her was that the gods wouldn’t be able to help him and he would be disappointed and feel even more broken than he already thought he was.

Once more he signed, this time seeming longer than the last two. It took her longer to look up what he meant, but when she did, she simply dropped the book and returned the hug, rubbing his shoulders. “I won’t ever leave you, Kaiden.” She had said that more than once already, but she had a feeling he still needed to hear it. She crouched down so that she was at his level and placed a quick kiss on his forehead before clapping her hands together. “Now, I think it’s time for you to go to bed. It’s late, you’re young, and you need your rest. What do you think about that, hmm?” There was no doubt in her mind that he was tired. He had already fallen asleep earlier that evening and probably would have remained that way had she not woken him up. It had been a long night for the both of them and if he didn’t go to bed willingly, then she would just have to drag him there. She didn’t mind if he wanted to go to bed with one of his books, just as long as he actually got some sleep.