Title: Forever Endeavor
Description: For a special someone only.
Malevolence - October 14, 2007 11:28 PM (GMT)
((OOC: I hope it's up to my normal standards, Astra. =) Enjoy.))
Forever…What did it truly mean in all honesty? Many said that it was a period of time with no measurement, but yet it was always used so commonly. Even he had fallen suspect to using it so many times, especially when he was within her company. Though, it seemed that it was only to be false promises, promises that he couldn’t possibly keep and was foolish to think that he could even do as such. There had been so many times when he wasn’t there for her when she needed him the most, and of course there were the times when he wanted to just be alone. Especially during these past couple of months, where he had spent his time deciding whether or not this was truly wise to follow through upon. After all, he had been the cause of her heart aches and even the one that’s driven her damned near insane with his own issues. What made him feel that he had even deserved to have her or to be apart of her life, when he himself couldn’t get his own under control…
Long were his thoughts, each were a battle, one side against the other until a conclusion came to be reached. That conclusion often times didn’t favor him or even aide in his side of the arguments that passed through his head. But during those battles, he had come to one conclusion and one alone…And that was that he would never allow himself to be controlled by his past again. Often times he had come to think about it, but never did he allow it anymore than just that. In fact…He had even come to control the demon within him, allowing him full control of its powers and to use them as he wished. Though, that still didn’t mean he was immune to the prophetic nightmares he had foreseen at Dal Quor. But he wasn’t about to throw away everything he had come to gain over the years, or even risk it by his own instabilities. So, try he would to prevent such from ever happening again and she…She could help him. Long as she would remain at his side, all would be serene. But that was the problem, no longer was she at his side, there to hold his hand when things got tough or to even cheer him on when obstacles placed themselves in front of him. For now he was alone and as much as he loved it, he had hated it even more...
He didn’t blame her of course…She had all rights to be afraid of him, but more so of the monster he had become during the times they shared together. And if she had witnessed the nightmares at Dal Quor, then….
Releasing an exasperated sigh, his dark lavender eyes would lightly trail across one tree and to the next, recognizing them only as the place where the two of them had first met. Making his way slowly to one of the trees, he would drop to a single knee and bow his head slowly forward. One by one, the strands of his silverish hair cascaded down over his shoulders and soon shielded his face from the sight of onlookers. Fixating his gaze down upon the discoloration of the tree trunk and then the grass beside it, a lone hand would slowly place itself against the trunk. Lightly the tips of his digits would trace across the rigid surface of the tree, as they ran across the discoloration of it. Many would think of him nuts, but he knew what this was and where it had come from, however odd it may seem. It was the blood of a beloved, and that beloved was Astra….
Oddly enough, it was at that point when he first realized how important to him she really was. But now she was gone and he was the one to blame for it. Constantly he had pushed her away from fear of what may happen should she ever come too close. He hated it…Oh how he hated it, because without her he was nothing and nothing he would remain. His life was nothing but shambles of a broken past and a history left incomplete, but she was the one that came into his life and made sense of his shattered existence and pieced it together, only to create everything he had ever become. And it was at that point when things were beginning to look on the up and up for him. It was something he hated to part with, but perhaps that was the best for the both of them, even if it were only better for her.
Gracefully his hand would part from the rigid surface of the bark, but linger it would only inches from it. Thoughts drifted through his head languidly and carefree with their nature, but they had been happy thoughts of all the times the two of them shared together. Bit by bit a small smile would slowly snake its way across his face. But the second it would, his hand would ball itself into a tightly woven fist and draw itself back sharply. Once it had reached a certain point, he would place every bit of strength he could behind it as he sent it careening in towards the tree trunk, just a couple of inches above its previous discoloration. With a loud thud his knuckles would come into a rough contact with its rigid surface, instantly splitting open the thin layer of skin that protected his knuckles. Blood would soon eek its way down the tree, flowing this way and that as it quickly spread across the previous discoloration of the tree, only brightening it from a deep crimson color to a brighter shade of red. Spasmodically his hand would twitch in response to the pain that resonated throughout its entire structure, but remove it he would not. Lifting his head, his dark lavender eyes would peer across the discoloration where the two converged; old and new. Since it was not willed for the two of them to spend their life together, at least they could through mind and body, even if in spirit they could not. The body being the blood that would reside together on this tree, and where the both of them would remember in their minds as the time they first spent together.
Another languished sigh would pass his parted lips, but this time it would be followed by words, “The God’s have willed us to remain apart. It pains me so to admit it, but I feel this may prove to be the better for the both of us. We’ve shared a lot of times together, both good and bad, but I’m afraid this is where they end; here at the place where the two of us first met…. Oh my beloved Astra, if only I could have told you… But I am not the strong man you portrayed me to be, because I simply sat idly by and watched as the two of us drifted further and further apart. Now, now the two of us will never be and I have no one to blame but myself. I realize you will never hear these words that come from my mouth, but I beg that you know I think of you constantly and I yearn to have you at my side once more, even if only for a moment longer.” Exhaling in a huff, he would lean forward and place his forehead against the tree just off to the side of the discoloration. Just at that moment, his bloodied hand would roll and place the heel of its palm just above the blood stained area, before spanning its digits outwardly only to reveal the broken appearance of the flesh on his knuckles and their bloodied nature. But care he wouldn’t, as it would drag itself fingertips only down the trunk of the tree, until his digits just floated on the outskirts of the bloodstains, not wanting to disturb their place on the mighty oak.
A lone tear would soon break from the wellings of his eyes and roll down the contour of his cheek only to trail to the tip of his chin, where it would break free and fall weightlessly to the earth bellow. It had been the first time he had shed a tear in ages, but it had also been ages since he felt human for a change. Perhaps this was the sign that he had finally won the battle with his inner demons, but it was too little too late since there was no purpose of winning the battle, when it had already been lost when she vanished from his life.
Just then the soft crunch of leaves would quickly bring his attention back upon the world around him, only to remind him that he was indeed not the only one out here. In a slow methodical manner, his head would lift itself from the tree and his hand would slowly drop back to his side, before he would rise to an erect stance. Though, turn his head he wouldn’t for fear of the person witnessing the tear streak that ran down his face. Tilting his head forward ever so slightly, his hair would act as a shield only to protect his features from their piercing gaze. In a deep dark tone his voice would ring out through the silence instilled between the two beings, “Who are you and how long have you been standing there? Should you fail to answer me, then perhaps I should show you what happens to those who eavesdrop…”
Astra - November 17, 2007 11:13 AM (GMT)
Astra walked through the moonlit forest, pondering on the last few years that had been her life. She had been the lady of a royal household, a lady that her father had planned to sell to the highest bidder like a prize barnyard animal. Then she had become a rogue diplomat and enemy of some of the most powerful households in Taras. After that prisoner, a prisoner subject to torture unspeakable. Now what was she? She was none of those titles now.
Glancing at the trees surrounding her, she knew that she should feel anxious in this place where the wish of her political enemies was almost fulfilled. She had almost died in this forest if it were not for him. This is where she had first met him. He was the reason that instead of anxiety she felt the warm contentment of fond memories. Inwardly she smiled, she could almost hear his voice telling her there were few fond memories they had accumulated together, most of their time together they had been hunted like prey, but to her any memory with him was a fond memory – as infuriating as he could be. The fact of the matter was he had saved her and continued save her even in his absence.
Suddenly the trees surrounding her did take on a dangerous tone. The gentle darkness of the summer’s night now seemed to collect around her with menace as if it wanted to bind her and render her helpless. She felt fear seeping into her pores, she felt his presence coming. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no." She whispered to herself. “This is not happening again. I will not let this happen again.”
“Yes, yes, yes, yes. This is happing again. You will give me what I want. You cannot resist forever!”
A deep, dark and manipulative voice felt like it was choking Astra, a disembodied voice only she could hear. Staggering, she found herself leaning against a tree and gasping for air.
“Such a beautiful creature you are, give in to me. Give in to me and I will care for you like no other. Forget him, he is nothing. I will destroy him. Imagine what you and I…”
She cowered against the bark of the tree, wrapping her arms around herself, blocking out the serpent-like voice. She felt as if something was in her mind casually leafing through her memories and thoughts. Pain shot through her entire body. And then those words echoed within her, “I will destroy him.” She felt strength fill her then, strength for him.
Astra screamed within herself, “NO! You do not exist! You are a part of my mind that I’ve buried deep. A remnant of the torture! Leave me now, leave me now and never return.” She pushed the intruder out of her mind. She built an inner stone wall ten-feet thick protecting her spirit.
The voice laughed mockingly around her, “As you wish, as you wish my darling. I will leave now, but I will return. You know I will…”
Astra leaned against the tree for a few more moments, composing and collecting herself and after a few short moments she was walking again. She did not take long to pull herself together and ending with cool composure and a clear mind, years of playing The Game of Houses had offered her this skill, among many others. She had been having these “fits” - as she liked to refer to them in the privacy of her mind - since she had been released. She had come to the conclusion there were some part of insanity that she had locked away, a logical outcome of the pain she had suffered. She had told no one of the voice, no one.
After another long bit of walking, the “fit” had nearly been wiped from her mind. She dismissed them as another might dismiss a nuisance of a rash that occasional broke out on their arm. The full moon was high in the night sky now, clearly lighting her way. She was not sure were she was headed, she had been aimlessly wandering since he had left her. She had spent a few nights in this Inn, a few nights in another and had engaged the patrons of each tavern in idle conversation. She had been feeling a general unease amongst most people, she was unsure why, but it seemed like some knowledge they could not understand was lurking below the surface. Or she could be just entertaining wild fancies because she was so utterly without purpose she needed to create some sort of mystery in her life.
She wandered further and further into the forest as if she was driven by some unseen hand. Then like a vision there he was, he was there in front of their tree. She froze instantly, not breathing and not moving. She heard the words he spoke, although they did not sound like his voice, but the voice of another. But, her whole being knew it was him before her; a different body, a different voice, a different life, she would always know the soul of her beloved.
“Better for us both to be apart?!? Better for both of us!?” Her thoughts seared like fire, “Speak for yourself my dearest darling, because I know it is not better for me. Throughout all the chaos that has been my existence you were my stone, you were my anchor, you taught me how to love. Now, you stand in front of our tree and say all you wanted was to be at my side. I never wanted anything more and you were always welcome!” She spoke none of these words.
She felt the overwhelming urge to run to him. Slap him. Hold him close. Cry before him. She took none of these actions.
Instead, she spoke these words with a bit of bite in her soft voice, “That poor tree, what has it done to you? Perhaps it was eavesdropping before I?” After a brief pause she added, “I surely hope you know who I am, I am not that forgettable?”
She stood with baited breath, her long silver hair slowing rippling around her slender figure. She felt if she moved perhaps his visage would evaporate before her as if he was never there. She felt that if she had to watch him disappear again she would shatter. Her lavender eyes seemed to glow with the night’s soft light in question. She whispered almost inaudibly, “My darling Czarrov, you have a moment now if you are willing to take it from me.”
Malevolence - November 17, 2007 11:55 PM (GMT)
The voice came like a blow to the stomach, leaving him speechless the second it would sound out to him. Was it really her or were his thoughts playing with his head again…? Afraid to even take the chance to look, he would attempt to shoot a glance off to the side and to where the voice had came from, but his hair would hinder sight of anything beyond it. Only leaving him with one choice, to turn and face the one that he knew could not be possibly there. It just didn’t seem possible; after all, why would she return to someone like him, the same who had tried to kill her and even spoke such spiteful things to her. Sucking in a deep breath of air, he would quickly quell the thoughts in his head and take the chance….
Methodically, he would turn to face her, a hopeful look etched to his features. Lavender eyes immediately locked to hers, before swiftly breaking and flittering down her entire form to make sure it indeed was her, even if he knew her just by her eyes alone. Once affirmed, they would return back upon hers, all the while trying to subdue the urge to run up to her and hold her for fear she would disappear the second he would.
For a long while he simply sat there, staring deeply into her eyes, unsure what to say or even do now that she was finally standing here, before him. It seemed like another dream, or in his case, a nightmare where she would depart again only to leave him stranded with these feelings he harbored. Unable to help himself, he would sputter out a few words, “Astra…You’ve returned to me.” He felt like an idiot when the words erupted from his mouth, of course she knew who she was and most certainly he had known it was her as well. Swallowing roughly, his voice would pick a slightly more demonic demeanor in its tone, “A moment…? Is that all you will offer me, even through all this time…?” By no means had he been angry with her, but he wanted it to seem as though he were; desperately wanting to see if she truly and really cared about him, like she had seemed to at the Taras Docks.
Taking a few steps towards her, the marred hand would lift up towards her face out of instinct, but he would halt its further movements noticing that blood now littered itself across his entire hand. With a slight sigh, he would lower it again and instead bring up his other one to her face, lightly stroking the tips of his finger nails across the soft contours of her cheek, until it would come to a rest palm flat against it, cupping her cheek as it had. Speaking in a deep dark voice, his eyes would lock to hers yet again, “I’ve been waiting for you to return, but I never thought you would. I thought for sure you had left me that day and for good. But I’ve changed Astra…I’m no longer that beast anymore, but something more. There was no way I could have done it without you though. I thought for sure I would be lost to the abyss until you came into my life, you saved me Astra. I want you to realize that…” Faltering in his words, his nose would pick up the scent of a nearby human, one that he could not recognize. Tearing his gaze from hers, his lavender orbs would flitter across their surroundings from right to left, until a soft clapping would catch his ears and cause him to turn around immediately.
A smaller form wrapped in a dark cloak emerged forth from behind a nearby tree, its face totally hidden beneath the dark binds of the hood. Lowering its arms back to its side, it would turn its head towards the form of Astra, completely ignoring that of Czarrov. The voice would come in a dark raspy tone, “Selena Cailena Xalvadora, I will have to ask you to come with me.”
Frowning, Czarrov narrowed his gaze upon the figure, trying his best to discern his purpose for wishing Astra to accompany him. With a demanding tone, he would speak up to the figure, “She goes no where unless you tell us why and for what purpose?” The figure eyed Czarrov suspiciously from beneath his hood, “Czarrov Syllvente, a demon hell spawn. That is not your natural appearance, is it…?” The figure grinned inwardly at his overwhelming knowledge of the two before him, while they themselves knew nothing of him. It was a feeling that most pleased him, but more so was the fact in which he could agitate people through such means, “No matter, you will not stand in my way, and the woman will come with me.”
Leaving Astra with no chance to respond to the creature, Czarrov rushed towards the creature and grabbed it by the neck only to push its back up against a tree. Bringing his face mere inches from the creatures, he would speak with barred fangs, “Do not under mind me, you don’t call the shots here. She will leave if she so chooses, remember that.” The creature growled beneath the pressure applied to its throat, “Reckless beast, unhand me or die where you stand.” With that said, the figure would snap its fingers, signaling to those he had been with him to come into play. Just then two men dropped down from the branches above and drew their blades, one placing theirs to Czarrov’s back, while the other kept some slight distance just in case.
The figure would speak again through clenched teeth, “Last chance beast. You have no ground in this matter, she WILL come with me, or you can die like a pigheaded fool.”
Feeling the blade press against his back, he would take his attention off the hooded figure and bring it back to the person behind him. In one quick string of movements, he would bring his free arm upwards and out to the head of the man behind him, all the while making sure to rotate his torso so the blade would slide across his back as opposed to allowing it a chance to puncture. With a loud thud, the back of his fist would come into contact with the man’s head and send him toppling to the ground, before he would focus on the other. Just as the other prepared to attack him, Czarrov would bring his razor sharp talons out to the man’s neck, threatening to rip open his neck on the next movement he would make. Offering the man a sheepish grin, his attention would return to the cloaked figure, but his eyes would never stray from the man before him, “As much as you seem to know about me, you lack the knowledge that you should never underestimate me. Now, as I said before, if Astra says she wants to go, she will go. If she doesn’t, she will stay, understand? Also, if she decides to go, I go with her, I will not leave her side.”
The figures eyes darkened upon Czarrov, before shifting over to Astra, “If she will go, I will allow the both of you to go. That’s all I can offer, so how about it?” Czarrov studied the man before him for a few moments, “Mind getting your lackey to stand down? Or do I have to put him down?” The figure motioned his hand at the bladed man and it was on that cue in which it would lower its blade once more.
Lowering his arms back to his sides, he would turn his full attention back upon Astra for a moment, “So…Should we go, Astra…? I’m fine with anything you choose, so long as I’m at your side.”